Healing Myself Mentally

I'm not going to lie, this week has been rough. Just the thought of not know when and if my heart will go into a fib has sent me into anxiety/panic mode again. Thank God for Xanax or I would have gotten no sleep all week. I understand that it is as important to heal my mind as it is to do what I need to heal my body. But healing my body is so much easier. I just take the medicine, do what the doctor tells me, and keep dr appts. Healing my mind is not so easy. I had just gotten to the point where panic attacks did not control my life. And now here we are again.

Giving Myself Credit

Before Saturday's incident, I was going to start working on giving myself credit for the good things I am doing in my life. My new counselor proposed we center counseling around that for awhile. It was a great idea...last week.

And while my counseling may still consist of giving myself credit, now, more than ever, it has to consist of preparing myself mentally for the fact that atrial fibrillation will happen to me again. I have far too much damage in my heart (not from A-fib but from surgeries when I was younger) for the A-fib to stay away. I have a few of the "causes"of atrial fibrillation. I was by myself on Saturday. That in itself is something HUGE to give myself credit for. I was able to stay calm enough to dial 911 and make it to the hospital. At the hospital, I was able to keep myself reasonably calm and God took care of the rest. I really need to give myself credit for that.

And this time, I went back to work on Monday. Last time I was off for a week. Now, granted, I was in the hospital for three days but I still was off Thursday and Friday. This time, I went back to work. I've only been able to work half days but I'm still there and still meeting my goals.

I went six months without any problems this time. Hopefully with the increase in medicine, high blood pressure medicines, and weight management I can make it longer this time. But I know it's going to happen. It's just a matter of when.

And Things Were Going So Well....SON days

I thought everything was going okay. Sure, my panic attacks had returned but I was managing. And then yesterday happened. I was going into Staples after drinking an icy fruity drink. And there. My heart started doing it again. Read this to catch yourself up if needed. I'll wait.....

Finished?

Well, it wasn't THAT traumatic this time but it still wasn't as fun as couponing. While my defibrillator did not discharge, at any minute it could have. I thank God that it did not. My mom was about a hour and half away. My dad was about two hours away. Michael was working on a truck and about a hour away. I was by myself this time. But I wasn't. I know God was with me the whole time. I really could feel his presence around me, holding my hand, keeping me breathing, and letting my heart flutter and not go too fast. I have learned this time to rely on Him. Yes, I know that at any time he could have took his hands off my heart and allowed my defibrillator go off. I also know that at any time he could have set my heart right. This is happening to me for a reason. I don't know if it's is because he wants to draw me closer to him. I don't know if he has a purpose for my life that I haven't discovered. All I know is while I was by myself for those short 15 minutes, his presence surrounded me.

They have increased my medicines and I am scheduled for more doctor appointments. I will most definitely continue my counseling. I have already swallowed one panic attack today. Xanax will because my best friend again. And I know that God will be with me. I know he was here long before I was thought of. I know that he knew I would have these problems and he would have a purpose for my life. I just have to continue to seek Him to find that purpose.

This is a song that has meant a lot to me over the last couple of days. I hope it touches you too.

Going Into Heavy Counseling Again

I am going into counseling again. THANK GOD. I have been having what the counselor calls night terrors. These feel like panic attacks while I am sleeping and scare the ever living daylights out of me. I can pretty much control a panic attack by myself. However, when I wake up in a panic and feel like I have been shocked out of my sleep, that is not fun.

Counseling is a must for me still. I hate to admit that I haven't completely recovered from panic attacks. I still have times when I feel like the world is coming to an end or I'm having a heart attack. I understand these are symptoms of having a panic attack and anxiety. I know this. However, I still feel like I feel and I have to figure out how to not let it control my life. I am trying to release control, or the perceived control I have over myself, but it's going to be really hard. Journaling is going to be a big part of this. My counselor wants me to get a journal and keep a journal everyday. We are going to concentrate on the positive parts and what I am doing to take control over my life. I really look forward to this journey. I still have a ways to go but I know I will get there.

Ingles+Publix+CVS= savings of 80%

This was my shopping trips from last week. I'm not going to take the time to type out everything I got. I haven't had time until now to post this. I spent $59.80 on $301.87 worth of stuff for a savings of 80%. I don't go to Ingles very often but they had some things on sale that I really wanted. I also had a Publix giftcard that I had gotten through Swag Bucks. I had enough Swag Bucks to request a prize and I got a $25 giftcard from Publix. I was so excited. Then, I went to CVS and made $.92. I still have $7.99 left over for this weekend. I hope to learn how to use Walgreens this weekend so I will let you know how that goes.

My tip for this week is to use every outlet possible to get coupons. If you print coupons from Swag Bucks, you get a swag buck for redeeming it. There are other programs similar to this one but that's the only one I participate in at the moment. Also, contact all makers of your favorite products to get coupons from them. Just tell them how much you love their products and they will send your coupons.

I have been helping a few people personally get started couponing. If you want me to help you, email me your address. Email me at bagwell123@gmail.com.

Arise My Love-SON days

When I was a teenager, my church had a youth leader named Brian. Brian was "hip" and in tune to how teenagers worshiped God. I miss him to this day for the coolness he portrayed. But during his time at my church, we did this "stick" drama, interpretive dance, whatever you want to call it. It was so powerful and so beautiful. This is the best one I can find. I also love this song. Praise God that He lives.

Took a Break

I haven't written or posted anything since 4/10/11. I have taken it easy with the couponing and I'm back at it this week. My last panic attack was on April 9 so I haven't really concentrated on anything other than getting the panic back under control. I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of completely losing control and losing who I am. Because that's what I feel like when I have an attack. My blood pressure has also been elevated so I have been working on getting that under control. I have started losing some weight by watching what I eat and walking at work. Only been doing this a week and my weigh in day is on Monday. I just kind of got serious about my blood pressure and have decided that this is the only way I am going to control it. I have been taking my medicine but medicine can only take you so far sometimes. Plus, I hate medicine and I want to feel like I am taking an active part in my "blood pressure monitoring" other than taking my blood pressure everyday. I mean, it's been two months ago when I first said I would be losing weight. While I haven't gained anything, I haven't lost either and that has been the point. So, I started hardcore this week. I have been very conscious about what I have eaten and what it contains. I just really hopes this will help my blood pressure go down to a manageable level and it certainly can't hurt. HERE WE GO...again.

***I promise this will not turn into a weight loss blog but will still be a "general life" blog.

SON days

I am absolutely, totally, completely IN LOVE with this son. It touches my heart when I feel like I'm not good enough. I know that God loves me for me...I don't have to be someone else. I'm okay, just the way I am.

Sugar and Panic Attacks

When I first started having panic attacks in October 2010, I looked into what caused them and what I could do to prevent them. I was scared to death of having them because they literally made me feel like I was going to die. I read a lot of stuff about blood work being "off," thyroid and what not. I had that tested in the hospital so I knew all that was okay. I also read a lot about caffeine being the culprit of many panic attacks. However, because of my heart problems, I had cut out caffeine years ago. I came across several articles talking about a person's diet and panic attacks. My favorite is short sweet and to the point. And it says to limit sugar.

Now, I did this for awhile, pretty successfully I might add. Then, the panic attacks subsided and all was well with my world again. About a month ago, I started eating sugary type stuff again (candy, chocolate etc). And, I have started having the panicky feelings again. I haven't had a full blown panic attack yet but I know that one is possible. So, to avoid this, I am cutting out sugar again. And this may be something I have to do for the rest of my life to control panic attacks. Fruit is okay..I can have fruit. Candy and refined sugar is not okay. And this is what I am cutting out. Plus, on the bright side, cutting sugar may help me lose a little weight. I am still working on the losing weight and cutting sodium. All of this HAS to help me feel better.

CVS+Publix= Savings of 84%

I'm very excited (well, semi-excited) about my shopping trips this weekend. Publix was out of A LOT of stuff I was going to get. I got rainchecks for everything and hopefully can use them before the coupons expire.

Other than that, it was a good weekend.

This is my trip to Publix. I got:

1 Box of Welchs Fruit Snacks
6 Bags of Pretzel Crisps
1 Box of Scotties Tissue
2 Boxes of Entenman's snack cakes
2 Bags of Goldfish Grahams
4 Boxes of JollyTime popcorn

I paid $11.86 for $45.97. While this is not an incredible trip, I did get some things that I would not buy if they were not on sale and I had a coupon. This was a savings of 74% which is the lowest I have gotten in a while. But, they were out of the free stuff so I will get that later.

I also went to CVS this week:

I got:

2 Right Guard Body Wash
2 Gum Eez toothpicks things
2 Oral B toothbrushes (plus free little toothpastes)
2 Crest Pro Rinses
2 John Freida Products
1 Complete Multipurpose contact solution
3 Febreeze products
2 Colgate Toothpastes




Without any sales or coupons: $ 77.75
Out of pocket cost $ 8.49
Extra Bucks Left Over $15.99
Coupon Amount Used: 
Manufacturer: $ 22.99
CVS Coupons: $ 30.99
Savings of 89%
Savings counting ECB left over: over 100%
# of Transactions: 3

CVS paid me again this week to buy stuff in their store.  My out of pocket cost was $8.49. I got back $15.99 in ECBs. I made $7.50. Not too bad. Again, I bought stuff I did not need but I do know people who will need it. Just buying the stuff I did not need was worth it just to get the Febreeze. I love Febreeze but it's expensive. I also wanted some new shampoo to try. I was excited to get an "expensive" shampoo for really inexpensive. I mean, I got an $8 bottle of shampoo for nothing. So exciting.

I guess my tip for the week, since I do it so much myself, is to buy stuff that you know someone else will use, even if you won't. I have gotten toilet paper, paper towels, Febreeze, can drinks, and various other products just because I bought stuff I didn't need. The ECB system is set up to help you. Use it for your advantage and buy the stuff you actually need (when on sale and also getting ECBs back). Use the ECB system wisely and you will end up with all kinds of hygiene and household care stuff you need.

SON days

I love this song. It reminds me that no matter what we think of ourselves, no matter what others think of us, no matter what else happens, God has a purpose for our life.

The Blood Pressure Battle

Yeah, let's just say the blood pressure is staying elevated. I am still battling my blood pressure. I swear I can feel when it goes up but my doctor says there is no way because it's not high enough. If this is the case, why can I not sleep when it's high? The doctor says it is because I am already inclined to have panic attacks. And when I take my blood pressure and it's high, I am probably having anxiety. This makes my blood pressure go even higher. Whatever. Even if I can't feel the blood pressure, I am battling the anxiety. I was able to get my Xanax refilled today (thank you to the dear doctor I saw today) and I am speaking with God everyday about my health. Begging actually to make all these problems go away. I know that He has a purpose in my life and there's a reason He is allowing me to go through this. It definitely has made me rely on him more and myself less.

I know I didn't do a song on Son Day so I want to do one today that I have really grown to love. I grew up listening to Amy Grant and she has only improved with age.

Publix+CVS= $481.89 for $67.12

Can I just say that I heart CVS and Publix? I AGAIN had great trips at both of these places. It was dog food week at Publix:

 

This is 61 bags of dog food and they were $.49 each. That is 244 pounds of dog food for $29.89 (before tax). I was very excited. I have two big boys. This will last us around 14-20 weeks depending on what they eat. I also got:

I spent a total of $59.41 at Publix on $405.84 worth of stuff. (Mostly dog food). That was a savings of 85%

4 boxes of Ritz Munchables

4 boxes of Betty Crocker fruit snacks

4 bags of cheese

4 blocks of cheese

4 bags of Starburts

2 bags of Skittles

4 Weight Watchers Ice Creams

4 Beech Nut baby meals

At CVS: 

I got:

2 Colgate Toothbrushes

1 Halls Cough Drops

2 Axe Body Washes

2 Dove Men's Deodorant

3 boxes of Band Aids

4 Glade candle oil refills

Without any sales or coupons: $ $76.05
Out of pocket cost $$8.93
Extra Bucks Left Over $10.00 (I actually MADE $1.07)
Coupon Amount Used: 
Savings of 88%
Savings counting ECB left over: 100%
# of Transactions: 2

I had a pretty good weekend. My tip this week is to monitor Southern Savers for any great deals that are coming up. She can't tell you exactly what the deal will be but can tell you what coupons you need to print. However, for the dog food deal, she did say how much this would be because it was such a great deal. Also, she wanted everyone to have time to order the coupons. Not all coupons that are published come in the local newspaper. I bought the $2/1 coupons. I bought 100 of them for $15. So, if you add the $15 in to my total of dog food, it still makes each bag $.73..which is not bad. I haven't ever bought coupons until now. If I find really good ones, I will buy again if they make the price worth it.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Publix+Bilo+Ingles+CVS=A savings of 75%

This weekend was not great for my family. Michael's grandfather died on Thursday so this weekend was spent with his family. However, couponing is a form of therapy for me so I did find some time to go to the grocery store.

Ingles shopping trip

I paid out of pocket of $21.30. This is $56.46 worth of stuff. This is the best I have done at Ingles. I generally stay away from Ingles because they are simply too expensive and not coupon friendly. However, there was some pretty awesome deals there this week. I got:

2 packs of Chinet plates
2 Gain laundry detergent
3 cans of Hormel chili
2 boxes of New York Texas Toast
2 containers of Chobani greek yogurt
6 jars of Bertoli pasta sauce
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
1 container of Clorox washing machine cleaner

All for $21.30. This IS the best I have ever done at Ingles.

I also went to my two favorite places: Bilo and Publix.

This is $173.10 worth of stuff for $53.97. WOW. Again, I LOVE Publix and Bilo when I am couponing. I am going to try to list everything that I got but I might miss something. If I do, the picture is there. I got:

1 Bag of Purina dog food
4 packs of Lance crackers
4 Bags of Pepperidge Farm cracker chips
4 boxes of Cheez Its
6 containers of Country Crock butter
4 loaves of Pepperidge Farm Raisin bread
2 bottles of Dawn Dish Detergent
1 box of Gain dryer sheets (cashed in my last coupon and raincheck)
7 boxes of Mueller's noodles
2 packs of Borden Cheese
8 packs of Springer Mountain Farms each a pound or more a piece
1 Jar of Duke Mayo
1 box of Decaf tea
4 packs of Yoplait kids yogurt (love this stuff)
1 jar of Philidelphia Cooking Creme
4 packs of Vigo saffron Rice

And that's it. But, I think that's enough. I was crazy excited!

And finally, I had my best CVS visit EVER! I look forward to more of these.

I spent $ 27.93 out of pocket on $139.82 worth of stuff. And I got:

1 Bottle of Head and Shoulders
3 bottles of Suave body wash
6 Suave deodorants
3-3packs of Listerine pocket packs
2 packs of Reach floss
2 bags of Easter candy
2 Cadbury Eggs
1 Zantac
1 Allegra
1 Lysol no touch handsoap system
3-12 packs of Coke products
2 boxes of Triscuits
4 boxes of Robin Eggs Whopper candy
1 Cobroxin pain relief spray

Without any sales or coupons: $ 139.82
Out of pocket cost $ 27.93
Extra Bucks Left Over $12.99
Coupon Amount Used: 
Manufacturer: $ 21.50
Extra Bucks:   $ 52.43
Savings of 80%
Savings counting ECB left over: 89%
# of Transactions: 4

This CVS visit is the best I have ever done I think.

I am very excited that I have finally gotten the hang of this process. My coupon tip for this week is to take advantage of any sales or specials the store has going on. If they are out, get a raincheck. Sometimes store specials will be better than what is actually on sale from the manufacturer.

Total before sales and coupons:  $369.38
Total saved after sales and coupons:  $279.17
Total Spent (minus leftover ECB):  $90.21
Savings Percentage: 75%

SON days

This has been a rough weekend for me and my family. My husband's grandfather passed away on Thursday evening. This weekend has been spent with his family. I never really knew my dad's father and I wasn't really close with my mom's father. My grandparents are Michael's grandparents. I have known them all my life and I feel as if I have lost my grandfather.

The Anatomy of a Panic Attack

Imagine knowing something bad is going to happen. You don't know what and you don't know when. You just know because you feel it in every fiber, nerve, and cell in your body. You start to feel chilled (or really hot) even though the heat is on and you're wearing a jacket. You start to feel dizzy, not like the room is spinning but more like you can't get your balance. Your palms become sweaty but your hands are ice cold. All of a sudden you can't breathe in and out. You feel as if you are drowning. Your heart starts to race and your chest hurts. Your head may even hurt and you swear you're having a heart attack. Maybe you start crying but maybe the fear is so great that you don't know what to do. You start trembling uncontrollably and you know that the bad thing you feared has just happened. You have just had a panic attack.

For me, this is how a panic attack feels. At the time, I swear I'm dying. And afterwards, I feel as if I have ran a marathon. Sleep, along with God and Xanax, follows because I'm no good for anything else. I can't think clearly or concentrate for a couple hours afterward.

Because I have learned to recognize how they start, if I can make it through the first 15-30 seconds (which can seem like years) I will have managed to calm myself down enough that I will not have a "full blown panic attack." I'll have, what I call, a "semi panic attack." This includes everything up until the difficulty breathing. There have been times I have skipped it all and went straight to the rapid heartbeat. At those times, if I can make it through the first 15 seconds..no longer..I won't have a full panic attack. I do a lot of self talk and self reassuring during this time. I know if I am able to control it, it won't get bad and I won't feel like I am dying.

Coming to this point where I can talk and write about this has taken lots of counseling, talks with God, and Xanax. All this has been a part of my recovery. Without them, I am not sure what my mental state would be. Honestly, my last panic attack was a few weeks ago but I have just gotten to where I can write about them. I am so proud of myself for how far I have came since October. I can do this. I'm going to do this.

Making Money Tip

I think one habit that a person falls into is signing up to take surveys, doing a few, and then not doing them for awhile. What will happen is you will do this and then you will want to go back and do surveys. You will then realize that you aren't getting a lot of offers to do surveys. That is because you stopped taking them. If you start taking surveys, and keep taking surveys (even one a day), you will continue to receive offers. If you don't stay at least somewhat active, the offers will stop. I suggest responding to at least three surveys or offers a week. This will keep your account active and keep the surveys coming.

A Savings of 85%

I had a great weekend at CVS this week. I didn't go to the grocery store but I did go to CVS. 

I bought
1 Charmin 16 count
1 Bounty 12 count
2 Gain Dish Detergent
1 Charmin Freshmates
2 Dentek Picks
1 Purex Complete 3 in 1
2 Herbal Essence products
1 Tena Adult Pads
1 Irish Spring Deodorant
1 Dial Nutri lotion
2 Crest Pro Rinse

Without any sales or coupons: $ 85.95
Out of pocket cost $ 22.42
Extra Bucks Left Over $10
Coupon Amount Used: 
Manufacturer: $ 19.73
Extra Bucks:   $ 31.46
Actual Cost $12.42
Savings of 85%
# of Transactions: 5

I believe this is the best I have ever done at CVS. I am ecstatic about this trip. No, I don't need adult pads but my grandmother does. I also don't need Crest Pro Rinse or the lotion. However, these items were free with coupons and gave me extra bucks. With those extra bucks, I bought stuff I needed: toilet paper, paper towels, and the rest of it.  Plus, I still have $10 Extra Bucks left. I am stoked.

I do my CVS trips in separate transactions. If there are other customers behind me, I will let them go before me out of common courtesy. Just because I am crazy, doesn't mean others have to watch!

Anyway, hope you guys all have a good week.

SON days

I am still in the process of trying to figure out where I am going with my life and my relationship with God. I am praying about several things that I feel he is calling me to do. I was asked today to help with the GAs at the church. If you don't know what they are, let me explains. Girls in Action (GAs) are girls 9-12 (or somewhere around there) doing mission projects and learning more about God. I love teaching kids but I am not sure I'm the best role model for them. I guess the things I have been through would allow me to relate to them, lead them, but I am in no way a role model for them. I don't know. Pray about it is something I have always been told but I feel this is so contrite. But, I will. While I wait, I will pray about it. And hope God leads me in the way he wants to go.

Finding the BEST price

I am going to refer a lot to Southern Savers. In my opinion, it's one of the best couponing sites out there. It's well organized, easy to follow, and the tutorials Jenny has posted are awesome. One of the best ones I can show you is this one:

This explains what this whole post will be about in video form. Some people do better when they watch a video and some people learn better in print.

One of the first things to realize is that you need to save your coupons for the BEST price of an item. For example, one week Cheerios might be on sale for 2/$6.00. While this is a sale price, a better sale price is is B1G1Free at 3.99 a box. This makes each box of cereal roughly $1.99. If you have a coupon for $1.00 off of one box of Cheerios, that will make that box that normally costs $3.99, cost $.99. WOW. That's a cheap box of cereal.

Jenny does a great job at showing what is a good price and how it can be better. On her website you will see a list of stores at the top. If you click on one store, you will see all the posts having to do with that store. What you primarily want is the weekly ad. On the weekly ad, she adds an acorn next to the BEST deals. Plus, if something is under a dollar or at a low price, she will tell you how much it is after the coupons. She illustrates this concept here.

There are tons of videos there to listen to and learn from. If you have a question,email me...godandxanax@gmail.com

My Heart

I met the love of my life when I was 14. I knew at that time he was the love of my life, but he didn't. Michael and I first met when we were 14. Something attracted me to him. "My name is Crystal and I am going to be your new best friend" were my first words to him. I don't remember how it happened but I helped his mom with her Sunday School class and he always came with her.

He is IT for me. He has always been IT for me. Even when there was someone else after Michael and I went our separate ways, it was always very clear that Michael held my heart, my everything. No one could live up to what Michael was to me though one tried. And how I knew this at 14, I don't know. I guess you could say when I was younger, Michael was a bit of an obsession. But I loved him.

He and I went our separate ways when we were 17. My heart broke and it was like a piece of me went with him. A piece of me broke off and I searched for someone to take his place until I was 21. At 21, I had resolved myself that he wasn't replaceable and to try to find happiness where I could. I prayed to God to let me be happy just by myself. So, I chose to be alone. I knew, without a doubt, I wasn't going to find happiness with anyone else but myself.

When I was 22, on March 11, 2006, Michael and I found our way back together. I believe that God knew that he was it for me. He allowed me to grow as a person and not depend on someone for my happiness. When I was finally able to accept me for who I was and what happiness He and I could give me and myself, he allowed Michael and I to find each other.

It hasn't always been perfect or easy with Michael. Because of some of our history, I had some doubts to let go of. I had to realize that we weren't teenagers anymore and he wasn't going to disappear again. I would be riding down the road and just giggle and shake my head. I couldn't believe we were together again. And there are times, when I let myself, think how lucky I am to have him in my life again and how I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I had to let God do this in His time. I just never thought he and I would be together again. He's my best friend. 

And he's my heart. He's my love. He's my husband (he and I married October 17, 2009). He's who I will be with until each of us die. I know this as surely as I am sitting here breathing and as surely as I did almost 14 years ago (he and I started "dating" as teenagers October 14, 1997). I am so happy with them and he accepts me so fully as me. He is patient with me during my panic attacks. He's patient with me on the nights I can't sleep. He's patient with me when I am thinking I might die. He's it. God could not have made someone so perfect for me.

And I love him so completely. And I know he loves me.

Weight Management

At this moment in time, I am not trying to lose weight...I am just trying to maintain. Weight Loss has not always been easy for me but again, now is the time to start slow and learn. I generally start by trying to lose weight and then I worry about maintaining. At the moment, I am working on just maintaining. I know the weight I am at right now is not healthy...no one should weigh this much. However, with everything going on with my life right now, I don't want to put more stress on myself. PLUS, I figure that if I can find out how to maintain, I have no problem losing. Once I know how maintaining works, when I am ready to lose, I will be able to maintain. So, I am kind of going backwards.

Everything else in my life is going well right now. I am still having blood pressure issues from time to time but my panic attacks have gotten few and far between. I hope this is a sign that I am a "recovered panic attacker."

How I Learned to Coupon

A friend of mine (who I adore) asked me earlier this week to do a post about how I started couponing. I know that a site like Southern Savers (found here) can be overwhelming if you don't have the time to sit and read. However, she really does lay it all out there. She tells the easiest way to organize, she explains how it all works, and she explains how best to use her site. She has several tutorials. I am in no way going to claim that I came up with any of these methods. Jenny, from Southern Savers, taught me these couponing tricks. However, what I am going to do is explain what works best for me personally and how I use her site. These posts will probably be a series because there is SO MUCH that one post just will not do it.

Getting Started

This first and most important thing is to stay patient. I got started doing this thinking I was immediately going to get $100 for $25. It doesn't work that way. It took about four weeks to really start collecting coupons for me to see the "fruits of my labor." It will seem difficult at first. It will seem like you are unable to buy ANYTHING that is on sale. There's a reason for that and we will go into at later date.

The second and second most important thing I can tell you is to get organized and stay organized. There are many different "schools" of thought about organizing your coupons. For me personally, I DO NOT clip coupons. I use a 13 pocket accordion file folder to organize the inserts themselves.

And I also write the dates of the insert on the front of the insert. The date is the date of the paper you got the coupons out of. You can also find the date on the spine of the inserts. Sometimes I will get loose coupons and I organize these in a index card box.

 

You can put them in categories or you can just stuff them in a box as I have done here. I also use a plain folder (like the ones that have three brackets in them). I use this folder for all print outs and coupon "booklets" I get in the stores.

You can see Jenny explaining her system here. I have taken her system and tweaked it to meet what I want it to do.

The last thing I can tell you about couponing is USE SOUTHERN SAVERS. Jenny spells out each store, each sale, what's good, what's not, what to buy, what to wait on etc. If you still have questions, email me godandxanax@gmail.com. I will be happy to answer any questions you have. I hope to post a tip or something every Saturday. This post will take the place of the one on Saturday this week.

Happy Couponing!

Cash Crate Review

Cash Crate

This week I am going to review Cash Crate. I am still having some issues this past week with my blood pressure so I didn't do too much this week. However, I did manage to make $5.55. I know that is not a lot but I only spent about 30 minutes this whole week doing this.

I absolutely love Cash Crate. Cash Crate is a 100% legit company. I have never had problems getting my checks from them. Most companies will have high payout limits you have to reach to be able to cash out but Cash Crate only has a $20.00 limit. So, just think, I only spent 30 minutes this whole week and made almost $6. So, if I had actually spent 30 minutes each day, I would have made around $30. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but if you do this each week that's an extra $120 a month. That's a few tanks of gas, new shoes, or even groceries.

The whole point with Cash Crate is they are paid by other companies to offer you various products, offers, or surveys. Cash Crate will then give you anywhere between $.50-10.00 depending on if you sign up for pay offers or free offers. Of course the offers that take less time will pay less. Or, if you have to pay for the service, you will be paid more. There are loads of surveys you can take to make money. Again, depending on the level of commitment of time on your part, is how you will be paid.

My tip is very simple this week: Only sign up for offers you are interested in. AND, if you sign up for the offers you have to pay for yourself, then make sure you are actually interested. Most companies require you to stay with that offer through the entire "free trial" period. This is the time that the company allows you to try their product or service. Now, these "free trial" periods last two weeks to a month. If you don't remember to cancel your membership, you will actually end up paying for it. So, be sure you like it. Also, be sure to take surveys and write reviews on things you actually know about. Most companies will review your review or survey and determine if YOU are being legit and only reward points or money after they determine this. So only do stuff you are interested in!

Have a good week everybody!

SON days

LOVE- That is all.

Making Money Tip

Just so you know, I still plan on posting each week on Monday what I have been making online. However, I haven't been doing any surveys or attempting any offers right now. I have so much going on in my life that I simply don't have time right now.

Which brings me to this week's tip: If you are serious about making some extra money online, set aside 15-30 minutes each day. This time allows you to go through your emails, pick out the offers/surveys you want to try, and complete them. Just think, if you can make $1.00 a day doing surveys/offers, that's an extra $7.00 a week. While this may sound small, it's an extra $28 a month. That's groceries if you do coupons (like me) or if you are going for gift cards that's $28 off something. And it really isn't that difficult to make more. This is just a low example.

Next week I hope to review Cash Crate. We'll see how life goes in the upcoming week!

$232.85 Worth of stuff...for $72.69...savings of 68%

I really had a great weekend at the stores this weekend. I enjoyed myself immensely. I am going to begin with my tip for the week instead of putting it at the bottom.....Try Drug Store shopping...but go slow. I think I have finally got the hang of "CVSing." I did really well this week. I started small a few weeks ago and have worked my way up. The Southern Savers CVS weekly ad gives scenarios that you can try. She lists simple transactions to start with then list the bigger transactions. I started small and have learned her way to do this. The key for drugstore shopping is to make the Extra Care Bucks (or whatever your store gives out) work for you. The beauty of CVS is you can use the ECBs to purchase more stuff to get more ECBs. Here is what I got this week:

You are seeing here $79.19 worth of stuff for a total of (after sales and coupons and ECB) $20.49 and I still have some ECBs left over. I saved 74%.  CVS was out of the FREE Oral B power toothbrushes today so I got a raincheck. I don't make special trips to a store. I will just get it next time I am there.

I also went to BiLo this week...twice. Once by myself and once with my mom. I purchased a few things each time.

This is the first visit. I spent $22.65 and got $52.99 worth of stuff. 

This is my visit #2. This is $35.91 worth of stuff for $15.37. Yes, I got more dog treats. Dog treats are generally pretty expensive (to be dog treats). Sometimes they range from $2.00-$10 for some bags. So, I get them when on sale and get enough to last for a while. Plus, my doggies love them. 

BiLo totals: $38.02 spent after coupons and sales, $88.90 before sales and coupons, savings of 61% 

And again Publix takes the prize for the most coupon friendly place. I LOVE PUBLIX. I got $65.12 worth of stuff for $14.18. WOW. That's a savings of 78%. Take advantage of those Publix coupons stacked with manufacturer coupons.

I hope everyone had a good week shopping. We are pretty stocked up on cereal, toothpaste, and dog treats. I will not be getting any of those things for a while unless they are free or a few cents short of free. 

SON days

 

The more I go through in my life, the more I rely on God to help me through it. I really love this song because it really does describe my relationship with God. I can't imagine what Job dealt with and how much he lost. AND HE STILL PRAISED GOD. May we all be like Job and praise God even in the rain. I always try to remember that even though I am going through this hard time, God has a reason for it. Whether the reason be to bring me closer to him or to be a witness to other people. There's a purpose. 

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Now Is the Time..not tomorrow

I know I have said that this blog is not going to be about dieting. And it's not. However, since this is something that has come up in my life, it will be blogged about.

I have always said, "I'll start tomorrow. I'll start after the weekend. I'll start (fill in the blank)." This time, it started immediately. As soon as I found out about my impending health crisis yesterday, I started. I went to the store and bought a few items that I knew were low in sodium and low in calories. I am NOT counting calories. I am NOT consciously going to count everything that goes into my mouth. However, I have done this enough times with enough success to know how to do this. While counting is a great way to lose weight and while it has worked for me, FOR ME, I don't think it is sustainable for life long management. You may disagree but I refuse to spend my days counting my calories. I know the calories of most foods. If I am unsure, I will look. But for now, that's as far as it goes. If I don't lose weight after a couple of weeks doing it this way, then I may loosely count calories to get myself on track. My goal right now is to not gain weight. I'll be weighing myself in the morning to get a base weight and then I plan to weigh myself every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to keep myself on track.

I don't know how this is going to go for me. I haven't ever tried losing weight this way. I have ALWAYS counted (as in writing/tracking/logging) whatever I put in my mouth. However, since those ways have failed, I KNOW that FOR ME, it is not sustainable to do it that way.

Today has gone well. I'm confident that I have eaten less today than I have in a long time. And I'm not hungry. We'll see how this goes.

Okay...Here We Go Again

I've had a lot going on this past week. I was sick for most of the week...to the point to where I barely left the bed. Then, I went to the doctor on Wednesday for my cold and found out I have high blood pressure. Yeah..really high...in my opinion (155/94). I bought a blood pressure monitor and the highest it went was 171/96 and 155/107. Yes, I'm not happy. I went to see my cardiologist today and the verdict is in...it's not as big of a deal as I felt it was and I need to lose weight (and medicine). I have a perfect storm for high blood pressure it seems. I have family history, I weigh a lot, and I don't exercise. There you go...a recipe for high blood pressure.

So, here we go again...slowly. I am not going to go crazy and count every calorie I eat..yet. I talked with my doctor about the connection of losing weight and my defibrillator discharging. The doc seems to think there is no connection. And if there is, it's just the fact that my heart is getting used to the exercise. He also seems to think that it won't happen this time because I am taking Amiodarone (the medicine that keeps my heart in rhythm). So, not only will this be a general blog, I will be reporting on my weight loss. I'm not going to go hard core and count everything. I want to start slow. Make small changes. Eat less salt. Etc.

Here we go.

Weekend Shopping Trips

I was going to post this weekend but Michael and I spent a lot of time just enjoying each other's company so I never got around to it.

I had awesome shopping trips this weekend. See below:

This is from a place I mentioned in my last coupon post. The place is called Bargain Foods. They get overstock and damaged items from stores and sell it at a reduced cost. What you see here is $72.27 worth of groceries for $40.32. I LOVE THAT PLACE. The only thing is they don't accept coupons. But it's okay. I save enough there anyway. 

I loved my Publix shopping trip. As you know, I have two dogs. We need lots of dog treats. So, I spent $11.39 on $58.01 worth of stuff. WOW. Now, of course these were dog treats, ice cream, taco shells, and Maalox, nothing to make a meal with (except for the Taco shells). However, these were things we need.

 This is my shopping trip from Bilo. It's not the best I have done at BiLo but it was good. I got some meat that was on sale. Plus, I got some cleaning stuff. And more Maalox. I spent $36.41 on $60.95 worth of stuff. Like I said, it wasn't the best I have done but I didn't have any coupons for the meat. 

And this is my shopping trip to CVS. I am still working on perfecting my CVS shopping but I'm getting better. I spent $35.76 on $84.58 worth of stuff. I am really happy. I got free toothpaste, toothbrushes, and Listerine. I was excited. Plus, I got some Valentine Day stuff for my valentine.

So in total this weekend, I spent $123.88 on $275.81 worth of stuff. That's a savings of 56%. I'm pretty stoked about that. So what is my tip for the week?

Get rainchecks. That's how I rocked it out at Publix. I had awesome coupons but the week I needed the dog stuff, they didn't have it. I got a raincheck and went back when I had other stuff to get and got the dog stuff. GET RAIN CHECKS when the store is out of the product you want and go get it before your coupons expires.

SON days

Wordless Wednesday

So what exactly happened?

Sunday October 4, started like any Sunday afternoon does for me and Michael. We went to his parents to eat Sunday dinner and spend some time there. His parent's home is like my second home. I feel completely at ease and comfortable there.

While we were there that Sunday my heart started "acting up" at lunch. I stopped eating and put my head between my hands. I do a fairly good job at controlling my heart and breathing during these times. I concentrated on that while Michael and his parents looked on concern. I finally gave up on eating and sat on the couch. "It will go away" I told myself. It always does and this time is no different. I have atrial fibrillation. Take a minute.

See, it's nothing life-threatening at all. An hour later I finally called my mom to bring my carelink monitor. I sent a transmission to my doctors at MUSC here in SC and laid down. I was so exhausted because of the a-fib that I just wanted to sleep. Plus, sleeping has made it go away in the past so why should this time be any different?

I woke up three hours later and it was still not gone. Yep, emergency room time. I called to make sure I was doing the right thing and I was. I walked into the emergency room on my own accord and told the lady at the desk I would like to check in. When the words "atrial fibrillation" came out of my mouth I was whisked away to a room. In the room I was hooked up to several monitors and what not. Fast forward about an hour and a half....

They had played around with some ideas as to what to do for me and decided that Diltiazem would be the best avenue for it. Before they could start me on the medicine, my heart took off. And BAM, my defibrillator shocked my heart to try to slow it down. And AGAIN. And AGAIN. And three more times it went. It was so surreal. It was happening to me but I could see it happening to someone else, like it was happening on TV. The cardiac ER doctor was awesome at keeping me calm. She finally put Diltiazem into my IV after the second time of my defibrillator going off. She kept up with me the whole time, kept eye contact me with me. I remember looking around and seeing at least 15 people in the room during that time.She was finally able to get my heart rate to go down...after LOT of Diltiazem, Morphine, and Zofran. Yes, I was so drugged I could not see straight. However, that didn't keep me from worrying about how fast my heart was going. For an hour, even after it had slowed down, it was a matter of peace of mind for me to know it was okay. In fact, at one point it had began to creep up again and I was able to tell her before she even saw it on the monitor. Some more Diltiazem later, I was stable. After that, I definitely had a hard time trusting that they were watching my heart rate. That's when I was introduced to Ativan. And I lived on that for the next 24 hours. Good stuff.

My heart may have slowed down but it never corrected itself out of the abnormal rhythm. Monday morning my electrophysiologist decided that cardioversion was needed to correct the a-fib. So, after drugging me up on some Versed they shocked my heart so it would go back into rhythm. When I woke up, I didn't even realize it was over. They only thing I knew was my heart was back to normal. And I was grateful.

I'm not going to lie. I'm terrified now. I have always depended on my defibrillator to stop these types of rhythms. Although my defibrillator was implanted for the purpose of ventricular tachycardia, it had always worked in the past for the purposes of a-fib. I guess I figured (or had hoped) it would continue to be the case. It's not. My defibrillator did nothing for me that Sunday. The WONDERFUL ER cardiac doctor and her medications is what stopped the episode. And I can't get that out of my mind. I can't get the picture in my head of me coming off the gurney with every shock from my defibrillator. So much so that I was sent home with Xanax to help with the anxiety. I'm scared. I'm constantly aware of my heart rate and heartbeat. And I'm not sure how to be normal again. I'm not sure how to forget this happened and go back to normal.


***This was written shortly after my hospital stay. While I am still very aware of my heart beats, things have gotten better as you will see with future posts.

SON days

 

 This is a song that I have really grown to love. I was raised in a Christian home and kind of got away from that for awhile. When I realized how important God was to me in my life, I have definitely "ran back to his promises" and it has surprised me, just as the son said. I now take great satisfaction in reading my Bible and praying that God will lead me to where he wants me. 

No Shopping Trip This Week

One thing that I have learned while couponing is that you don't ALWAYS HAVE to shop every week. I always look at the sales on Southern Savers and if there is nothing I know that we will use or just simply no good prices, I will not go. That's one of the biggest things I will say about doing this. Look once, if there's nothing there, don't try to find something. Know what you have in your kitchen and know what you need. Don't buy to be buying and don't buy it if you aren't going to use it (unless you are donating). Going one weekend a month without going to the store, is not going to deplete your stockpile. Use what you have and check back next week. You'll be surprised by how much you will save.

My First Panic Attack

When I was a teenager, I always had anxiety about being around a lot of people. I hated going to Walmart because I always felt like I was drowning. However, I never had, what I like to call, a full blown panic attack. I was always able to keep everything under control long enough to get what was needed and get out. 

October 15 I was getting ready to go to bed and started feeling my heart race. My mind went blank and all I could think about was dying (seriously). I screamed for my husband but because he was so tired from working that day, he did not hear me. Looking back on it now, knowing what I know now, I could feel fear welling up in me. But I only thought about my heart. It only lasted a few seconds, but I ran to get Michael (that should have been my first clue right there-if it had been my heart, my defibrillator would have discharged with the rapid movement). I told him I had to go to the ER right then because I was afraid of my defibrillator discharging. 

When I got to the ER, they hooked me up to a heart monitor. My heart was in normal rhythm with no problems. My heart rate did rise but it was because I had another panic attack. While it felt like it was going really really fast, in reality it was only going 120-130 beats a minute. (Keep in mind that my heart has the ability to go 250 beats per minute). Seeing the doctor took forever this time (because I was fine) but they did give me a Xanax to calm me down while I was waiting. While it did calm me down some, I still was very shaky. 

This was my first actual panic attack. I went on to have about 7-8 more. One time, I had one in my sleep. I called 911 and again I was fine. Another time, I was driving down the road. I began having a panic attack and called 911 again. Again, I was fine. 

I have learned to recognize the symptoms of a panic attack, what happens in the minutes before and the minutes after. Learning to recognize the symptoms have taken the scariness out of it all. 

My first step is to evaluate. Feel my heart beat..it may be fast but is it in normal rhythm? If yes, proceed to Step 2. My second step is to breathe. It sounds simple but really does make all the difference in the world. If I can get myself past these first two steps, I am fine. If not, I go to Step 3. My third step is to call my mom. My mother is wonderful at helping me get through panic attacks. She can ramble on about nothing and it really does help. My fourth step is to take a Xanax and pray. Because when all else fails, God and Xanax will do the trick.

Opinion Outpost Review

As discussed last Monday, I have started doing surveys through Opinion Outpost. I'm going to be honest. I haven't made any money this week. Michael and I were in the process of finding him a truck this past week (the search still goes on). So, I didn't have time to do any surveys. Hopefully, this week I can start full force.

Opinion Outpost is an interesting come to use. Not only do you get surveys, you get offers from other companies and products. When you first join, there are ten profiles to complete. They ask everything from generic questions about lifestyle to the type of liquor you drink. These profiles are important so don't skip them. They help Opinion Outpost route surveys and offers you may enjoy.

The way they track your earning is by points. Fifty points if worth $5.00. Some offers can be worth as much as 50 points and some as little as 10 points. I have found that I like to do as many surveys as I can. I try to stick to the 10-15 minute surveys which are usually 10-20 points.

The companies that Opinion Outpost work with are reputable companies. They are certified by the Better Business Bureau and other consumer agencies. If they ask you to download any software, the software is safe. I have also never been kicked out of surveys or have the surveys freeze because they use top-notch software for the surveys.

The only problem I have encountered is that it is sometimes difficult to qualify for surveys. And if you are able to qualify, the surveys can be very extensive. I like to spend no more than 10 minutes on a survey. However, some of the surveys can be as long as 30 minutes. On the flip side, the longer the surveys, the more points they are worth.

Once you complete a qualifying survey and it's determined you qualify, you will be forwarded to the company conducting the survey. The first page you will see is the name of the company, how long the survey generally takes, and how many points it's worth. You aren't penalized for deciding to not take a survey. Just remember, if you do this a lot (refuse surveys) Opinion Outpost could and will stop sending you surveys.


Money Making Tip:
The first and most important thing I need to stress to you is you will not make a lot of money doing this. This is something you do for extra money or for gift cards. Any company telling you it is possible to make a lot of money is a scam. Also, you should never have to pay to take surveys. You are doing this company a favor doing these surveys and you should NOT be paying them.

Everyone have a good week!

SON days

My Trip to Publix and Bilo

 

This is a picture of my trip to Publix and Bilo. I also went to a place called Bargain Foods. Bargain Foods is a place around where I live that sells overstock, damaged, or out of date stuff. I really love that place but you have to be really careful about what you get. Most of the stuff is good stuff, just marked down for whatever reason. I generally have a good idea what is a good price and what is not when I go there. Most of the time I can get some great prices there. Sometimes I have found that couponing is cheaper. At Bargain Foods today I spent $48.70 for around $70.00 worth of food. I'm not going to go into great detail about everything I got because I forgot to take a picture of it. Needless to say, I bought a whole host of stuff, mainly snack stuff. 

At Publix today, I paid $12.12 for $48.18. While that's not the best I have done, I got some stuff we needed along with some free stuff. 

My List: 

4 Marie Callendar Steamfresh meals

2 A-1 Steak Sauces

2 Gorton Shrimp Scampis

2 French's Mustard (Free)

2 Tasteful Selections Potatoes

I was also going to get some dog treats they had on sale but they were out. I got a rain-check for those.

At Bi-Lo, I paid $21.91 for $41.48 worth of stuff. I had to get some stuff that wasn't on sale so that kind of did me in here. 

My List: 

4 Lucky Charms

Drano (not on sale)

Paper Plates (on sale but no coupon)

2 Breakstone's Sour Cream

3 Borden Cheese

1 Sirloin Tip Steak (on sale, no coupon, dinner tonight)

I have done better at both of these places before. However, these trips aren't bad for the coupons I had and the fact that I haven't done this in a while. I'm happy with what I got and the price I paid. 

My Coupon Tip: 

Until you become accustomed to couponing, use the websites found in this post. These women who run these sites are "professionals" at this. Their coupon matchups and sales are on average 98% correct. They are also very detailed and specific about what to get. They also have tutorials and other "get you started" tools that first time couponers might find helpful. If you are like me, you appreciate the work being taken out of it. There are hundreds of these savings sites so just Google "coupon sites," "coupon savings," or something along those lines to find them. A lot of the times if you find one, there will be links to other ones. Look for one that you can relate to, you understand, and is easy for you. This isn't meant to be hard. 

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Learning to Coupon

Michael and I were married October 17, 2009. At the time, I was a caseworker making a poverty level salary. (I worked for one of the poorest state agencies). Michael was working as a mechanic and he was making around the same amount I was. I started couponing as a way to save us money. You can't do a lot about the house payment or student loans payments but I figured the one thing I could control is how much we would spend on groceries.

While I was trying to figure this whole thing out, I found Southern Savers. TA-DA! It took all the work out of it for me. Jenny, the webmistress of Southern Savers, would list all sales with the coupons on her website. The only responsibility I had was organizing my coupons. She also has tutorials to teach you how to do that.

I go to the grocery store once a week, specifically to get what is on sale. Don't get me wrong. Do I buy stuff not on sale? Absolutely. There was a long period of time after I got my present job that I didn't coupon. I started making around $10,000 more a year than I was making and Michael got a new job making significantly more as well. I just didn't bother with the coupons. However, after a few months of this, I have realized how much money I am spending by not couponing and I am back at it.

If I do go to the store during the week, I plan on posting a picture of what I bought and telling you how much it all cost. Some weeks I do really well. I have spent $75 at Publix before and only paid $20. But I have also had to buy stuff that wasn't on sale and I didn't have coupons.

The website I use is really only good for the southern states, specifically SC because Jenny is from SC. However, there is also Coupon Mom. That site is free to use as well. It's just a little more commercialized. Both are excellent sites and give excellent information.

Not only will I be posting my coupon successes (or failures), I will be posting my personal tips and sometimes opinions about couponing. If any of my information comes from another site, I will quote them so you can go there to read more.

Happy Couponing!

Making Money (but not a lot) Online

A few years ago, before I had a full time job, I did surveys to make extra money and get gift cards. Obviously, I never became a millionaire but I did make a little extra spending money and got some awesome gift cards.

It's time to do that again.
I need something to do.
Because I don't have enough.

Sooo, we are going to start small. Cash Crate, Opinion Outpost, and Swag Bucks are three companies I have had tremendous success with in the past. I've received checks from Opinion Outpost and gift cards from Cash Crate and Swag Bucks. I suggest taking a peek at each one before deciding which, if any, you want to try. I will be posting my success with each one along with how much money I am making every Monday. Also, I will be sharing a helpful tip or something I have learned each Monday. I am just starting Cash Crate and Opinion Outpost so I haven't made anything yet.

However, I have been doing Swag Bucks for a while and have 1902 Swag Bucks. That is good enough for a $10 Barnes and Noble gift card (very exciting). While I probably won't find anything for $10, it's still like $10 off my order. I am trying to save up my bucks so I won't be cashing it in just yet.

My first tip: Create a separate email for doing this. The emails can and do get outrageous.

See you next Monday!

SON days

I absolutely love this song. I am in the process of searching for my purpose in my life. I am currently reading The Purpose Driven Life. I know that one of my purposes here is to help people. I have had two jobs (my last one and current one) that my primary purpose was to help people. Being a caseworker is not always emotionally easy but it is rewarding. My major in school was Psychology. I would love to go back and get my Masters in Counseling, specifically in substance abuse. I want to help people. Plain and simple.

Week in Review

First, let me say that I have had no panic attacks this week. I am still at the point to where I cannot think of the past panic attacks that I have had without feeling some level of anxiety. I am hoping that I can get to point to where I can think about them, can write about them, without feeling like I am going to repeat them. My goal is to go day by day without any panic attacks. The small feelings of anxiety, the small back in my mind what if questions are still there. I'm not sure they will ever go away. Knowing that any time my heart can go into atrial fibrillation and trigger my defibrillator is not a good thought for me...so I try my best not to think about that.

I have been sick this week and still am not feeling well so that has had an affect on me this week. I only worked Tuesday, Wednesday, and half of Thursday. I had to call in on Friday because I had a fever. I hate calling in because I hate sitting here all day by myself. The times that I am by myself are becoming easier but still aren't like they used to be. I used to LOVE to be by myself...not all the time but sometimes was good. Now, I have a hard time though I have gotten better. My dog Diesel keeps me company. Even though he's a dog, I feel like he can feel when I am not feeling right and sticks to me like glue. Other times, I think he knows that I am fine because he doesn't stick to me so closely. Today, he was everywhere I went. He is my baby and I don't what I ever did without him.

I am not sure I am going to church in the morning. Church is like a battery recharge for me each week. I go to listen to the pastor but I am more moved by the music. I know that God wants to be the one to move us and I believe that for me, it's done through music. However, tomorrow I am not sure I am going. Since I have been sick and had a fever, I don't want to get anyone else sick. I love Charles Stanley so I guess I will watch him in the morning.

Overall, even though I have been sick, any week that I don't have a panic attack, will be considered a good one.

Being Sick and Anxiety

I am sick this week. I think I might even have the flu...high temperature, sore throat, all the rest. I hate being sick. I feel weak when I am sick. Being sick would normally be something I would just deal with. It's not cool but not the end of the world either. However, once anxiety is added on top of that, it become worse. One sign of a panic attack is not being able to breathe deeply. Normally when a person is sick, they are breathing shallow just because of the illness. Well, that is me right now. And breathing this way is not conducive to combating anxiety. So needless to say, not only am I living on Tylenol right now, Xanax is also a good cold medicine. The last thing I want right now is a panic attack. I already can't breathe thank you very much.  

Managing Anxiety

Managing anxiety is a big task for me on those days when it seems unmanageable. I've never had to deal with this so I have had to learn. The feeling that nothing is going right, nothing is fixable is at times so overwhelming it's hard to breathe. These feelings started with my heart problems in October but they have taken root in other areas of my life. I constantly worry that others around me are not happy (and I've always been one of those people who says, "You are not responsible for other's happiness) so this is different. I have found that facing what I'm anxious about...whether it being alone or my heart problems...helps to an extent. Sometimes it makes me more anxious. I try to tell myself that what I am feeling is not permanent...that it will go away soon. I try to remind myself that even when I FEEL alone, God is always with me. These feelings at time can consume five minutes or five hours of my time.

Today has been the five hour day. I have felt like screaming all day..no matter what has happened. I feel so frustrated, anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and panicky all in one. As Ron said in Harry Potter, "No one can feel that all at once, they would explode." Well, I feel like exploding.

SON days

I love the weekend. With a passion. Sunday is really my favorite weekend day. I go to church in the morning, sometimes eat with my dad, and come home and clean house. (I hate cleaning house but love when it's clean) During the week, I listen to christian radio but I really get a blessing listening to the music at the church I go to. Every Sunday, I hope to post a video of a praise song I love. Sometimes I will post the video and what it means to me and sometimes just the video and allow you to take your own message. Enjoy!

You Are My King by Newsboys