Giving Myself Credit

Before Saturday's incident, I was going to start working on giving myself credit for the good things I am doing in my life. My new counselor proposed we center counseling around that for awhile. It was a great idea...last week.

And while my counseling may still consist of giving myself credit, now, more than ever, it has to consist of preparing myself mentally for the fact that atrial fibrillation will happen to me again. I have far too much damage in my heart (not from A-fib but from surgeries when I was younger) for the A-fib to stay away. I have a few of the "causes"of atrial fibrillation. I was by myself on Saturday. That in itself is something HUGE to give myself credit for. I was able to stay calm enough to dial 911 and make it to the hospital. At the hospital, I was able to keep myself reasonably calm and God took care of the rest. I really need to give myself credit for that.

And this time, I went back to work on Monday. Last time I was off for a week. Now, granted, I was in the hospital for three days but I still was off Thursday and Friday. This time, I went back to work. I've only been able to work half days but I'm still there and still meeting my goals.

I went six months without any problems this time. Hopefully with the increase in medicine, high blood pressure medicines, and weight management I can make it longer this time. But I know it's going to happen. It's just a matter of when.