Managing anxiety is a big task for me on those days when it seems unmanageable. I've never had to deal with this so I have had to learn. The feeling that nothing is going right, nothing is fixable is at times so overwhelming it's hard to breathe. These feelings started with my heart problems in October but they have taken root in other areas of my life. I constantly worry that others around me are not happy (and I've always been one of those people who says, "You are not responsible for other's happiness) so this is different. I have found that facing what I'm anxious about...whether it being alone or my heart problems...helps to an extent. Sometimes it makes me more anxious. I try to tell myself that what I am feeling is not permanent...that it will go away soon. I try to remind myself that even when I FEEL alone, God is always with me. These feelings at time can consume five minutes or five hours of my time.
Today has been the five hour day. I have felt like screaming all day..no matter what has happened. I feel so frustrated, anxious, angry, sad, lonely, and panicky all in one. As Ron said in Harry Potter, "No one can feel that all at once, they would explode." Well, I feel like exploding.
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