Took a Break

I haven't written or posted anything since 4/10/11. I have taken it easy with the couponing and I'm back at it this week. My last panic attack was on April 9 so I haven't really concentrated on anything other than getting the panic back under control. I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of completely losing control and losing who I am. Because that's what I feel like when I have an attack. My blood pressure has also been elevated so I have been working on getting that under control. I have started losing some weight by watching what I eat and walking at work. Only been doing this a week and my weigh in day is on Monday. I just kind of got serious about my blood pressure and have decided that this is the only way I am going to control it. I have been taking my medicine but medicine can only take you so far sometimes. Plus, I hate medicine and I want to feel like I am taking an active part in my "blood pressure monitoring" other than taking my blood pressure everyday. I mean, it's been two months ago when I first said I would be losing weight. While I haven't gained anything, I haven't lost either and that has been the point. So, I started hardcore this week. I have been very conscious about what I have eaten and what it contains. I just really hopes this will help my blood pressure go down to a manageable level and it certainly can't hurt. HERE WE GO...again.

***I promise this will not turn into a weight loss blog but will still be a "general life" blog.

Weight Management

At this moment in time, I am not trying to lose weight...I am just trying to maintain. Weight Loss has not always been easy for me but again, now is the time to start slow and learn. I generally start by trying to lose weight and then I worry about maintaining. At the moment, I am working on just maintaining. I know the weight I am at right now is not healthy...no one should weigh this much. However, with everything going on with my life right now, I don't want to put more stress on myself. PLUS, I figure that if I can find out how to maintain, I have no problem losing. Once I know how maintaining works, when I am ready to lose, I will be able to maintain. So, I am kind of going backwards.

Everything else in my life is going well right now. I am still having blood pressure issues from time to time but my panic attacks have gotten few and far between. I hope this is a sign that I am a "recovered panic attacker."

Now Is the Time..not tomorrow

I know I have said that this blog is not going to be about dieting. And it's not. However, since this is something that has come up in my life, it will be blogged about.

I have always said, "I'll start tomorrow. I'll start after the weekend. I'll start (fill in the blank)." This time, it started immediately. As soon as I found out about my impending health crisis yesterday, I started. I went to the store and bought a few items that I knew were low in sodium and low in calories. I am NOT counting calories. I am NOT consciously going to count everything that goes into my mouth. However, I have done this enough times with enough success to know how to do this. While counting is a great way to lose weight and while it has worked for me, FOR ME, I don't think it is sustainable for life long management. You may disagree but I refuse to spend my days counting my calories. I know the calories of most foods. If I am unsure, I will look. But for now, that's as far as it goes. If I don't lose weight after a couple of weeks doing it this way, then I may loosely count calories to get myself on track. My goal right now is to not gain weight. I'll be weighing myself in the morning to get a base weight and then I plan to weigh myself every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to keep myself on track.

I don't know how this is going to go for me. I haven't ever tried losing weight this way. I have ALWAYS counted (as in writing/tracking/logging) whatever I put in my mouth. However, since those ways have failed, I KNOW that FOR ME, it is not sustainable to do it that way.

Today has gone well. I'm confident that I have eaten less today than I have in a long time. And I'm not hungry. We'll see how this goes.

Okay...Here We Go Again

I've had a lot going on this past week. I was sick for most of the week...to the point to where I barely left the bed. Then, I went to the doctor on Wednesday for my cold and found out I have high blood pressure. Yeah..really high...in my opinion (155/94). I bought a blood pressure monitor and the highest it went was 171/96 and 155/107. Yes, I'm not happy. I went to see my cardiologist today and the verdict is in...it's not as big of a deal as I felt it was and I need to lose weight (and medicine). I have a perfect storm for high blood pressure it seems. I have family history, I weigh a lot, and I don't exercise. There you go...a recipe for high blood pressure.

So, here we go again...slowly. I am not going to go crazy and count every calorie I eat..yet. I talked with my doctor about the connection of losing weight and my defibrillator discharging. The doc seems to think there is no connection. And if there is, it's just the fact that my heart is getting used to the exercise. He also seems to think that it won't happen this time because I am taking Amiodarone (the medicine that keeps my heart in rhythm). So, not only will this be a general blog, I will be reporting on my weight loss. I'm not going to go hard core and count everything. I want to start slow. Make small changes. Eat less salt. Etc.

Here we go.